I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
