guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
