Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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