I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
