Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
