Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
