too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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