After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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