What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
