If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's intense
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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