therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
