honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
