Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
