imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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