his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
