What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
