It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
