Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
