Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
