oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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