Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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