so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
