I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
