is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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