She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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