My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
