Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
