She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We're too hungover to prance.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
