What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
