just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
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