your room smells of hookers.
And success
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
