The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
