i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
