So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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