Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
