just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
