we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i out mim tonsoeep
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