hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
