Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
