Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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