Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
