Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
