And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The best revenge is premature balding
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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