so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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