I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
