U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
birth control should be required to get into college
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
