I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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