Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
