I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
