is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
