I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
